Like with any couple, there are things that are in the way. Obviously in a long distance relationship, one of the big ones is distance. Something that we aren't quite ready to bridge yet, but are definitely impatient and anxious to bridge as well. Right now we are pushing that off for the time being but also tentatively trying to come up with viable options to make it work.
As the parent of three kids, it was definitely a hurdle to "introduce" Spicy into their lives. Something we did in May, after many months of talking and texting. Incredibly the kids absolutely adore him, and he adores them in return. Over the last several weeks they've been getting closer and closer. Honestly, it was a big relief that they all get along so well and that they too are excited about the next step.
Another hurdle is that we don't have a whole lot in common as far as well... anything. I am a total nerd, who loves comic book movies, and tv shows. I love nature documentaries and romance novels. Spicy is not really into movies, or tv or books. He prefers modern/monochrome furniture, while antiques fascinate me. He is anti-activist whereas I am an active voice for LGBTQ rights, Black Lives Matter and Anti-Fascism, just to name a few. Learning to compromise is getting easier, but of course, I'm sure that will translate differently in person as well.
One thing I CAN say for the distance is that it forces us to communicate. It forces us to learn to talk with one another because honestly there is no other way for this to work. Sometimes it's frustrating because it's not always easy to have your thoughts collected in the moment, and later many points that you could have made, or better ways to explain your stance hit you. For me, those moments are usually at 3 am when insomnia is rearing its ugly head.
Sometimes I worry about the age difference. I worry that because we come from different places with different backgrounds and different life experiences that we have too much against us, but then I let go of all of that because at the end of the day there is no one else I'd rather have at my side. We push each other to want more and to be better, not necessarily in order to please each other but because we want to be the best people we can be for ourselves as well as each other. He makes me think, he doesn't put up with my bullshit, and I don't put up with his. His voice first thing in the morning makes me happy. His breathing at night gives me peace. The way he looks at me makes me aware that when he looks at me, he loves me despite my flaws or maybe because of them. He worries for me. He is my cheerleader and someone who isn't afraid to motivate me by pissing me off. He loves my children, and they love him. In my 37 years, I've never been truly in love until I met him.
For any couple, no matter what their background, or age, or circumstance.. there are things that are trying to pull them apart. All anyone can do is wake up each day determined that for THAT day they will love and laugh and learn and grow together, and then the next day they wake up again and make that same determination. Love isn't something won once and lasts forever, it's an enduring promise each day.
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